Just one day with my friend Toro…
So My friend Toro calls me this past sunday. He wants to hang out. I say sure. 2 hours later he is at my front door. This is typical for Toro and I have come to expect it.
When I get in the car he asks me if 1) If he could cook for me. 2) If he can take me dancing. Ok… on a better day and if he was about 30 years younger this would be an ideal situation. But he is old enough to be my grandfather… so don’t get any ideas. And I have not showered that day, have jeans and a t-shirt that I’m working on my second day a wear, and I have sneakers on. If you are not a dancer you may need to know that sneakers and dancing are not a good idea. You can twist or break an ankle when they do there job and grip the floor. This is were dance shoes come in handy. They have leather souls so you can avoid these types of injuries. Since mine are on the East coast at the moment and given my current state I said no thanks on number 2 but accepted number 1.
Toro attempted to talk me out of it with “I could turn around and you can go back to your place and change”, “I could buy you dance shoes for your birthday”. (spoken with the same accent of Inigo Montoya from princes bride)
I say no to all so we keep on trucking to Sausalito were Toro lives. We stop in at a Mexican Grocer so we can buy the ingredients that we need for Seco de Pollo which is the dish he is going to teach me how to cook. Toro is going on and on about how I’m going to stick out like a sour thumb and be the only white person in the joint. I think he was attempted to prepare me which had a dash of humor in it. I don’t really need to warning I’ve been to grocers in Durham, NC like this many times with my friend Sue who introduced us. I tell Toro this and he just keeps going.
We get in the store and I counted three whites (including my self) and a person of asian decent. He heads to the ice cream bar display and starts picking out a pop sickle and invites me to join in by asking what “which one you want”. I choose the Lime and he asks “You no like cocoanut or strawberry?”He starts to talk to the cashier and then decides we should wait until we are leaving, so he takes mine back and puts his already open pop sickle and my still sealed pop sickle back in the display.
We go to the cheese counter and he stats telling me about the “really good cheese you have to try”. We get to the counter and while we are waiting in line I notice a Cheese (Queso Fresco) that my friend Sue introduced me to and loves. I say the name out loud and Toro turns in shock and asks “You know this cheese?” I tell him at least 3 times while at the counter after this but yes I have had it with our friend Sue with crackers and that I like it very much. He responds with yes you can have it on crackers. My Spanish is a little rusty so I’m not sure but I think Toro then has a conversation wit the guy behind the counter about how I’ve not had this cheese before and he would like a sample for me to try. They guy cuts a small pice and puts it on the counter then starts to cut a larger pice for us to take home. When Toro start wondering out loud why I haven’t jumped at the chance to take a shot at this cheese I tell him once again I have already had it with our friend Sue and she has once again beaten him to the punch of introducing me to the wonderful world of Mexican Grocers and Fresca Caso.
We finally make our way to the produce section nearing the end of our trip to Mexican Grocer. I remind Toro yet again that I can not handle spicy foods. He grabs and fist full of some kind of pepper I’ve never seen before. He says he will make the sauce on the side. He then picks out a bunch of new (red) potatos. I really can’t stand new potatos, there my least favorite of the potatos and I love potatos. I ask if these are the potatos we will be using for the dish we will be making in a little while and he says “ah no they are for later don’t worry”. I let him know of my dislike for this type of potato and he says he will use them for something else.
We make our way to the front of the store and he pulls out out pop sickles. He realizes that the first on he has pulled and the one he has opened already is not the flavor he was wanting in the first place. So he puts back the open pop sickle again and makes sure that the second time around he has the right flavored sickle.
We make it to his place and we get settled into the kitchen to make this chicken dish Toro has been raving about. He starts his instruction with showing me how to cut onions. Giving him credit he doesn’t know that I’ve worked in kitchens in college. I let him know this so we skip over the basics and go right to adding which ingredient when. I was having a lot of fun and Toro pulled out a home made bottle of Limoncello (a liqueur from in Italy). It was really good!
Were cooking along with some music on and were talking and laughing while we cook. Toro complements me on picking up the dish so quickly and is please with my skills at gaging how much of what ingredient we need. It was the most fun we had all day. After the dish was on its way to simmering Toro started to wash and cut up the peppers he bought. They were small and kind of mushed looking with a yellow orange tent to them. I had seen them before but I never knew the name of them… or so I thought.
He was starting his sauce. We were making way more than we needed that night. He was going to feed his workers the next day so we cooked a big pot of this stuff. Toro was making the sauce on the side for my benefit. When he had cut and cleaned the seeds out of the first one he asked me if I was going to want any of the sauce. I told him I really can’t handle a lot of spice. But I thought I would smell the pepper. It didn’t smell spicy so I told him that I might just try a little bit of it since it didn’t smell all that spicy. He then held it out again so I could get a better sniff and accidentally bumped my upper lip with the tip that had just a little water dripping off of it from being under the faucet. Seconds later my upper lip was on fire. I asked what the name of the pepper was. He sheepishly told me Habanero. I may not know what the pepper looked like before this but I had always noted next to that name in my memory banks as painfully hot. I know have a picture and personal experience to go wit that file in my head.
I quickly changed my tune and let Toro know that I would not be eating that. He asked why and I said because my upper lip is on fire after a second of contact with the pepper its self. He laughed and said “your body is just out of shape” I said no… I just come from a family that likes bland food… so I don’t have the built up tolerance you have. Just at the hight of this pain when all I can think of is HOT and ways to try and put out that fire raging on my upper lip Toro starts acting panicked and escorts me to his closet, turns out the light, and after joining me closes the door. So I’m alone with Toro in the dark, with my second glass of Limoncello, a burning lip, and a confused look on my face in the dark.
So I bite… what’s going on? Toro explains that a friend of his has come over unannounced, with his family, and is standing just out side his front door. Keep in mind Toro’s famous van is out side, music is going in the living room, and dinner is currently cooking on the stove with the gas going and there are ingredients for his hot sauce in the blender. He’s afraid that they will just walk on in since they have come over unannounced. I asked why then do we have to be in the closet with the light out. He said “because they will not leave man. they came by one day and the brought his mother in law and they just kept talking and they wouldn’t leave.” He was afraid that if they smelled the food they would stay even longer. I can hear in his voice that he is torn between the feelings of annoyance and guilt. We hear some voices just out side his bead room window. Once were pretty sure they were coming from the outside and not from inside the house he went out to investigate.
He came back and said they were gone but they were coming back. I asked how he knew that? He said because they left there car parked just out in front of his front door. We finished cooking and ate. In this time an hour went by. In this time we were able to recapture moments of the fun we were having before the pepper and the intrusive good friends. Toro asked again if I would like to go dancing I said no and yet again explained to my ADD friend why. So he said that he would take me for ice cream and then we could go play pool and then asked if I played.
I said yes and that would be fun. While we were waiting for the rice to finnish cooking Toro was on the phone a lot leaving Voice mails for a few friends and catching a few others. After we ate (which by the way the red potatos were not as gross as they have been in the past… I think cilantro is the key to making them not suck) he said something about his friends that had stopped by and said something about leaving a key for them if we leave before they get back so they could eat some of the food. We had plenty. Then matter-of-factly he stated we should leave now incase they come back and we get stuck. He changed his shirt and we headed out. He left a key on the hidden on the front porch and we drove off.
We headed into the city and he continued his phone calls and voice mails. When we reached North beach he said “I need to stop at the bank and pick up some money.” I said ok. He handed my his wallet and asked me to see how much he had. I collected all the bills that had pretty much been stuck in at random and counted them. Told him the amount and then very OCDly ordered them, put them same orientation face up. and then neatly folded them and returned them to his wallet.
I was pretty much in a food coma so I wasn’t paying attention when Toro parked his van, put the hazards on, left the engine running, and jumped out and ran to the ATM on the corner. If I had noticed before he jumped out I would have said something. I sitting there in the front seat of this ancient van just letting my mushy mind wander. Eventually I see a cop or two near the van and then they look like they mean business. Just before one knocks on my window they see Toro coming back around the van from the ATM. They stop him and get him to pull the registration and start to talk to him near the passenger side back wheel of the van. I can’t really see them with out straining and that is way more exertion than my food coma body wants to exert. Eventually I start to look closer around me and notice that Toro in his rush to get to an ATM and is frustration for the lack of parking he has pulled into a Bus loading zone. For thought of you that live in a car dominated society. San Francisco takes this offense very personally since they rely heavily on there public transit to get around. We found out that it is a $250 dollar fine.
The whole time Toro is at the back of the van with the police officers I can hear someone playing with there hand cuffs over and over like a nervous tick. That sound when there is nothing in the hand cuff and there just twirling the external pice of the cuff over and over through the main part of the hand cuff. At first I thought that meant that they were arresting Toro but when I heard it a few more times I knew it was just some cops nervous twitch. Its easy to understand if you’ve seen Toro. If your into the body builder type build and the retired older marine then you would like Toro very much. If your a copy with a complex your going to play with your hand cuffs and puff your self up as much as you can. (eventually they all came to the front of the van so I could see them interact). This cop had his cuffs hanging from right in front of his package and it was almost Vulgar to watch since it looked like it wasn’t just his ego he was stroking.
There were two of them. A cute little asian cop that was very polite and this other white older cop with a chimp on his shoulder. He played with his phone almost as much as his hand cuffs. After awhile I could hear the white cop through the window asking Toro if he would like to speak to there super. He said yes so we had to wait about 10 minutes for the super to show up. In the mean time we have Toro’s van blocking the buss stop, a police cruiser on the opposite side of the street kind of blocking traffic that way. And then another police cruiser with a third cop behind the van blocking the van and making it difficult for people to get around them since they were very close to the intersection.
The Asian cop knocks on my window and asks me to cut the engine. Then he starts asking me a bunch of questions like how I know Toro, what’s his name, how long have I known him, what are we going off to do? I answer his questions but start to seriously wonder why he’s giving me the third degree now.
I answered his questions but would follow it with why? He wasn’t as nice and didn’t answer my questions that often… I thought that rude. He finally said that he needed my ID because I was sitting in a parked car that was illegally parked. He need to identify me for his report. I said ok, and gave him my ID. I told him that they don’t do this were I come from. Typically its only the driver, the one that was actually in in control of the vehicle and usually owned it, that got that gets the third degree. He said that ya since I’m not from here but fro Raleigh I wouldn’t be use to this. If found out later he was steeping all over my rights.
Well he called my name in over his walky talky over his shoulder then what he through was sneakily gave it to the white cop who took it to there cruiser across the street and ran me through the system. When the white cop came back with my ID he walks the long way around the van stops for a second and talks to the now third cop that’s arrived and then comes to me to give back my ID. As he is handing it over he asks “Mamma are you on parole in LA?” Quite accusativly in tone I might add. I looked at him with this “you fucking idiot” look and said I’ve never been to LA in my life how could I be on probation there? He backed down rather quickly ( another sign that he was trying to puff him self up” and slicked away.
So we were there all waiting the polite cute Asian cop talked with me and Toro while we waited for the super. The now white cop(s) were talking amongst them selves. While we were waiting Toro asked the asian cop what the fine was for this violation. The cop said he wasn’t sure he would have to look it up. Toro was like sure you don’t know. The cop was like no really I don’t remember. I asked him what the fine was for sitting in said parked car and he smiled and said “oh no there’s no fine for that don’t worry.” When the super got there we had been there for like 20 minutes. So what had started as just a quick 2 minute stop turned into blocking the bus stop with Toro’s van, a police cruiser right behind that and another across the street blocking traffic for 20 minutes. I had thought a few times to ask if we should at least move the car so that buses could use the stop. I didn’t want to push my luck with these cops so I kept my mouth shut.
The super started giving Toro the bigger picture speech and why this is wrong. I then noticed that he said that Toro should just feel lucky he’s not getting a ticket for this parking job. He was only getting a warning!!!! Toro asked him how much this would have been and the super said $250 so he was super lucky that he was not getting a ticket today.
I think the way the white cop was acting around Toro ,who is an older Peruvian body builder type, I think the white cops actions distracted Toro and he said yes quickly to the question of “do you want to speak to my supervisor”. Well we finally are allowed to leave and were driving through the city Toro chattering about what just happened all the way. He asked me what they asked me and I told him the questions and answers that I gave. When we got to the were are we going question and I said to play pool. Toro asked me to repeat that I did and then he kind of laughed to him self. I was perplexed by this reaction until we reached out destination.
We get to Jelly’s Havana club. Its a really nice place and pretty hop’n… but there are no pool tables that I can see. Nothing but dancing bodies and a live band in full swing. Toro disappears into the crowd after giving me this CD he bought off the girl at the door and his coat. In fairness he dose ask me if I want to dance and I say no. I take a seat on this bench and watch the dancers. That’s one of my favorite things to do. Even when I didn’t know how to dance my self. I loved watching other people dancing and having a good time. I like to watch there feet, facial expression, posture, hand placement. And when there are really good dancers even better! There was a mix range of skill that night but mostly really good. HEy I didn’t say I didn’t want to dance because I don’t know how to Salsa… I said I didn’t want to dace because its my least favorite Latin dance. :0)
Then here it comes…” you want to dance?” I got so sick of saying no. They even started tapping my shoulder jabbing a finger into my arm, and standing directly in front of me waving there arms asking loudly. At one point I just pointed at my sneakers. Then comes this really push guy. He comes and sits down next to me and just sits there for a little bit. Then he leans in over my shoulder and says “I would ask you to dance but I don’t know how”. I thought that sweet so I thanked him but told him I do not want to dance. He thinks I said I cant’ either or just assumes that’s what I said and starts trying to start a conversation off of that. I tell him that’s not it. I know I just don’t want to.
After an off and on hit or miss conversation about dancing, attempted over the live band, he starts to convince me to try and dance with him anyway. I am still telling him no. Then he grabs my wrest and proceeds with trying to get me off the bench with some gentle tugging which then turns into pulling to the point that he’s attempting to lift me up off the bench by just my wrest. I’m still saying no but he’s still tugging. I guess he thought I was playing hard to get .
He starts trying to shoot down all of my polite excuses that I was giving because the million times I just said plain no didn’t seem to mean anything. a few seconds before I was ready to hit this guy and get him kicked out of the club ( he was starting to make a scene) my friend Toro shows up seemingly oblivious to what’s going on. He tells me that he’s thirsty and going to get something to drink and asks me if I want anything. I just say “I’m going with you”. Toro looks confused and so I repeat my self a little louder and slower. He says fine so we walk out side to the bar there. He asks what I would like I tell him water. He asks again with a disappointed tone and I tell him again I only want water. I have to keep my wits about me in a place like this. lol I ask him about pool and he laughs and says we can do that some other time.
I start telling Toro about what was going on when he walked up. He started defending the guy with “Its just your so beautiful you can’t blame him.” I shoot back ” I still have a right to say no and have personal space.” “If I don’t want to be touched I should be.” He asks if I want to go back in side and I say no so he directs me to a place to sit down out side. We talk to our selves continuing this initial conversation for a little bit then moving on to something more pleasant. We watch the dancers out side and start talking about what we like and don’t like. Then I see him, the dude from inside and he’s sitting were he can see us and I catch him scowling in my direction. I guess he finally saw Toro size and decided not to come over. I tried to ignore him and try to salvage the evening. Eventually Toro asks if I want to go back inside again. It was getting cold so I said sure. We walk back inside and again I get Toro’s coat and he is gone. Not seen or heard fro again for the next 2 hours.
The place is packed and I’m pushed up against a wall near the front door for an hour. I eventually find a seat and I’m sitting there watching the dancers listening to the band and brushing off offers for a dance the rest of the night. I feel bad because I wish I could have fun but I’m just not feeling it. Then I start thinking about other friends I’ve enjoyed dancing with in the past. And how much fun I’d had and how I had wished they were there. If they were there then I would have gotten up, kicked my shoes off and danced in my socks regardless of my state. But I wasn’t feeling comfortable and I was in a new place and I usually like to make a good first impression. Plus it has been years since I danced Salsa so I felt rusty, crusty, and not in the mood.
Eventually Toro shows back up and announces that he is ready to go and takes his coat. We start to leave but there are so many people there its hard to weave through them and keep up with Toro. He finally stops at the front gate when he finally looks around while he’s putting on his coat and notices that I’m not right there with him. When I reach him he starts talking about how much fun he had and asks me again if I had fun tonight. I again tell him no and I’m really quite which is odd for me when hanging out with Toro because were usually swapping stores and laughing. He gets the hint and says that he was sorry and that he wishes I would have had a better time. Then asks if I’m ok. I tell him about how I miss my friends I use to have so much fun dancing with back home. So he’s like “you home sick” I tell him that I don’t miss places I miss people. I’m pretty quite on the ride back to my place. He tries to cheer me up or get me to talk or something but I’m just spent. The day was long and eventful and I’m just cataloging it and trying to make since of it all.
I finally get home and I’m exhausted. I couldn’t wait to just get home cuddle with Loralie and hit the reset button. But I must say Toro knows how to keep a gal on her toes and its very interesting to see the world from his point of view. He will always be one of my first West Coast friends and I love him for it. But I think I’ve overdosed on Toro so it might be awhile before I hang out again. lol
