Light At The End of The Tunnel

April 14, 2010 in Travel/ Adventure | No comments

Well its been a long and winding journey out here in California. I could do a blow by blow of what has happened in the last 6 months of my life but I find that dull.

This winter has been a hard one. I’ve been experiencing the full spectrum of human emotion coupled with the unyielding need for hibernation. Its been difficult but with rejuvenating spring comes change. I can now speak from personal experience that the first year out here in the wild west is hard. This is truly a unique life experience that nothing can totally prepare you for. I may not have come out here the best, but I’m glad I took that leap of faith. I felt like my soul was deying were I was. I’m glad I don’t have to live with the “what if” or regret of missing an opportunity. Keeping that promise to my self coupled with the good experiences I’ve had out here have renewed the pieces of my soul I lost years ago.  I’ve learned a lot of life lessons, experienced highs and lows, as well as had my own metal tested again and again. But I know with out a doubt I’m going to come out on the other side of this standing.

I’m also declaring here and now that come my first year anniversary, July 15th, I am officially finished with my first year out here and I have earned the right to call my self Californian. I will be buying the T-shirt and will wear it with pride. This experience has changed me and continues to change me and I ‘m grateful for the change. I look at the trials and tribulation I’ve faced out here as a way of sheding my old skin so that I can be reborn a Californian. I think it works a lot like the military, tear your recruit down and build them back up a new and stronger person.

I’ve been working a retail job in the city while I apply for design jobs and go on interviews. I started out working two but after a month or so of that regrouped, weighed my options, and chose to stick with one while cutting loose the other. I’ve survived the winter and a holiday season of retail in one of the largest stores in a company that is national and now international.  This experience gave new meaning to the term “retail hell” but I got threw it. I’m now in awe of my time in that store and help by a transfer to a smaller store that’s closer to were I currently live.

I’m still in Berkeley at the same apartment I landed in after my birthday last year. My own personal space has been reallocated every few months and I’m still living out of a suitcase after all this time. This has been interesting to say the least since before this I had lived by my self for 5 years. Loralie has slowly but surely adapted to our situation. She has made friends with a younger female cat. I’m so proud of her. It did take several months for her to forgive me for the plain ride out here, I didn’t think I would ever live that one down. She is ever amazing and my one constant threw all of this.

For a long time I was completely unhappy with my living situation. But recently I have found a since of peace and have made friends with my fellow occupants. Threw my friendships with them I have found an in site that has helped me come closer to my inner peace. I know now that it would have taken longer to find if I still lived on my own. I feel like I am watching the camera lens slowly start to come into focus. This has helped me start to settle down and relax into my new life in California. Its far from perfect and I still have a ways to go to make it comfortable but its mine and I find comfort in that.

Theirs an example I heard when I was younger that I realize now I’ve been living my life by. Most sailors drown with in site of the life boat. They swim for there lives for hours or days but the second they see the boat they relax and stop swimming and they drown. The sailors that keep swimming till there in the boat are the survivors. I find that I’ve kept swimming even after reaching dry land. This was probably necessary before, in fact I have no doubt that this mentality has helped me get were I am today, but its not that necessary now. I used that feeling to get me to the west coast but now I have to re- purpose it for keeping me here.

I know the plan I came here with and I’m glad its in flux and ran off course. There is no set time line that things have to be done by. I’m working towards letting go more and going with the natural flow of things. Looking back on my life pre-California I can see all the experiences that have helped prepare me for this point in my life. I know I’m getting all retrospective but all of this has opened my eyes a little wider to the wonder of the inner workings of life. Hindsight is truly 20 20. And if you keep your eyes open to past experiences you can start to see things coming a few miles up the road.

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Transition

September 14, 2009 in Work | No comments

So I just got home from my first day of work in San Francisco at Rasputin Music. It was super fun and it reminds me of working in the music library at WUSC. I’m going to be a floor person so I’ll be walking around, alphabetizing CDs, vinyl, DVDs, and other such merch. Its interesting how starting a job in the bay area really makes if feel like Its real… I’m really living here. I could feel the switch from tourist to resident when the through crossed my mind “Oh I hope I’m not going to be late for work” as I boarded my last train.

I think its finally starting to officially sink in that I’m here to stay. I brought my lunch, like any good thrifty commuter worker wood. I was sitting there eating thinking about what I had learned so far and what was coming up in my training next when I look up and just soak in the experiance of my first lunch break in the city. lol I had a lunch break! lunch box and everything. With my home made sandwitch, orange slices, and granola bars. I watch a group of people cross the street and looked up at the tall buildings surrounding us and had this over whellming feeling of satisfaction as it sunk in that I have finally made it.

I spent the frist few hours going over the 4th and 5th floor of the store with Ben the store manager for the day. Then I went down to the front counter and worked as counter help for the rest of my shift. They didn’t want be trained as a cashier but as help because sometimes the floor staff help in that capasity at the ront counter. They have a bit of a tag team approch to there front counter. They have one person there as counter help opening the merchandice cases and then baging the merchandice when the cashier is done ringing it up. So I learned how to open most of the cases they have in the store, checking VHS and records to make sure there in the right case. Pretty easy stuff… just doing that and making sure the back of the regesters stayed neat and tidy and the crates for the cases I was taking off didn’t start over flowing.

It was a lot of fun and I can’t wait for my next shift. Which is two days from now. I start Bed Bath & Beyond Tuesday so that will help with the boredom while waiting for my next record store shift. :0) My phone kept going off while I was at work. I sit here for months with no calls and then all of a sudden I start working and everyone has questions or wants to talk. lol thankfully I put my phone on vibrate and just checked it when the vibration started to get a little annoying.

The cashiers were wondering why I, the new person, wasn’t being trained to start out with them. When they asked if I worked in another record store before I said no so they looked even more confused so I filled them in on my years of experiance at the radio station. This is why my general manager decided to make me a floor person and not a cashier. :0) That experiance is finally making me money again. Its still little money but its money. I didn’t get paid much being a Music Director at the station. I’m not getting paid a lot at the record store either but that’s ok. I like the work and its easy.

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